Carter continues to move around a lot every day. While there's still a chance that he could be stillborn, my prayer continues to be that we get at least a few hours of precious time with him. I know God can do a lot more than this, but that's about all the "hoping" I can muster up right about now. We definitely are depending upon the faith and prayers of others to pray for more. (So please...keep praying for miracles!)
I (Sarah) am increasingly more tired and have been struggling with quite a bit of back pain, which is just normal pregnancy stuff. However, prayers for comfort and for sleep are much appreciated.
Our sleepless and sickness-filled week last week left both me and Ben a little raw emotionally. I think we have both been feeling like our time with Carter is slipping by, and as his due date gets closer, we have really mixed emotions. On one hand, I cannot wait to meet the little guy who continues to daily move inside me. I want to hold him and love on him like you can only do after a child is born. However, I know that his birth also means saying goodbye. And that is what we do not feel prepared to handle. God will give us grace and strength in those moments, we are sure. He has been here so far and will continue to be. Not knowing what lies ahead, we just have to depend on Him.
Jan. 20: Dr. Appt - Many of you may know that we have decided to deliver Carter at the IU Hospital in downtown Indy. This week, we begin our regular appointments with one of the neonatal specialists there. This doctor is new to us, but we have heard good things about her. Please pray that we can begin to feel comfortable with the staff in Indy. We will also probably meet with the perinatal hospice worker with whom we've been in contact. Between now and when we deliver Carter (date still to be determined), we have a lot of details to work out. We hope to share some of our plans with you at some point.
Thanks again to everyone for your support and prayers. We continue to be blessed by all our friends, family members, and even complete strangers who are encouraging us, praying for us, and thinking of Carter daily. We are amazed not only be the number of people who care, but also how MUCH they care. Thank you.
Scared to Intrude?
We just want to reiterate that you can feel free to talk to us and ask questions. We aren't looking for more pity or anything, but I know several people who have said that they didn't know whether to say something to us or stay away. So, I just wanted to be forthright with where we stand. I know words don't always come easy (they don't for us either), but talking is much easier for us than knowing how to deal with avoidance. You are not intruding. Even a simple "We're sorry" or "I'm praying for you" blesses us. Talking about the facts of what's going on is generally therapeutic. We don't expect everyone to say something, but want you to feel that you can.